Joke van Dijk – Fransen
Joke (pronounced Yoka) was Sjef and Fie Fransen’s second child born August 22,
1941 in de Kapelstraat 85 in Utrecht in occupied Holland. She had a fairly normal
childhood with one exception – the crash of an English Lancaster Bomber in June
of 1943 crashing on her street .
She grew up and lived at the address for more than 20 years. She was a fierce
marble shooter and had quite a collection. She attended elementary school in de
Oude Kerkstraat, walking to school for morning classes, walking home for lunch
and back to school for afternoon classes. She also attended the VGLO on the
Janskerkhof but decided to rather enter the work force, first in the business
offices of a car dealership but later as a sales person in the Department Store of
“Galleries Modernes” in the center of Utrecht. She took a course in Fashion
design and ended up sewing her own clothes and those of the kids till some years
ago.
She would spend her Summers at a Camping ground near Utrecht in Bilthoven
where the family had a cottage built by her Dad and named after his 4 daughters
“The Clover Leaf”. She got her own dog, Hetty and Saturdays were famous for
dancing to the sounds of Bill Haley. In 1959 a neighbor,Henny van Dijk who was a
cadet in the Royal Dutch Air Force, was quite smitten with Joke but she had other
ideas till in August of 1959 they became an item, got engaged on Christmas Day
1959 and married in July of 1962. In 1963 their first child Stef was born, followed
2 years later by a girl – Monique.
In April of 1968 the young family immigrated to the United States to Durham, NC
where they were challenged by new customs, a new language and new friends.
They bought a car, visited the Outer Banks, the mountains and Blue Ridge
Parkway till 1972 when Henny got an offer to come to Houston, TX to a brand-
new school, The University of Texas Medical School. The kids who were enrolled
in elementary school in Durham now went to school at Housman Elementary in
Houston. Joke decided to try the job market and first had to learn to drive but she
got an offer to become a hostess during lunchtime at a family restaurant “Doyle’s
on 34 th ”. Leo Doyle liked her work ethic and made her a waitress which she was
for 10 years. Her English became very good and the cute accent was a major plus
in her work with other customers. The apartment featured a pool and tennis
courts, so she taught herself tennis and got some mighty good tans at the pool.
We noticed several burly guys at the pool who turned out to be hockey players for
the Aeros who scored a major coup when they recruited legend Gordie Howe and
sons and thus started a season ticket love from the Colosseum, the Summit and
the Toyota Center till the team moved. In the early eighties Joke lost her Dad and
she traveled to Holland for the funeral. When she came back she wanted to get a
canary because her Dad had a huge aviary with some 70 canaries and it touched
something about her Dad that she could continue for him and for her; we called
the singer “Dude” and he would fly free through the house but was difficult to
lure him back in his bamboo cage. In 1983 Hurricane Alicia tore through Houston
and came right over the apartment and we decided that it was time to buy a
house and we found it in Westbranch on Clay. Stef and Monique had already
graduated from Spring Branch High and attended UH. We took a trip to Puerto
Vallarta and Stef went back to NC where he found his bride – Diane Peterson. He
married in 1988 and they have 2 sons, Eric and Bryan, so Joke became Oma. In
1990 after our home was broken into, we got an alarm system but more
importantly, another member of the family, Scooter, a dachshund mix who lived
with us for 18 years and put his paws on our heart. Monique married Mark
Stephens in 1993 and they have a son Matt. In 2000, Opa and Oma decided to
take the whole clan to Holland to meet their Dutch family.
Joke loved to work in the yard and won several Yard of the Month awards. The
van Dijks celebrated their Silver, Golden and Diamond Anniversaries in that home
and Henny retired from UT in 2005 so they could visit Holland every year. In 2009,
after a 45 year promise, Henny took Joke to Italy and had a great time touring by
car the country seeing the major highlights of that country starting in Venice and
via Lucca, Pisa, Florence, Siena, Orvieto, Herculaneum, the Amalfi coast and Rome
with so many memories to fill a lifetime. Henny became a member of the
UTRetirees and they ended up taking many trips with them as well as creating
friendships with former colleagues. When it became clear that Joke could no
longer take care of the home the way she wanted we moved to a Senior Living
Environment called Brookdale no more than 3 miles from where we lived and we
thought our problems were over but unfortunately Joke’s health deteriorated
rapidly and she passed away peacefully on February 3 with her kids and grandson
by her side. Joke is survived by Henny, Stef and Diane, Mark and Monique, Eric,
Bryan and Matt. Three sisters Trix, Corrie and Maria and one brother-in law Albert
on the Fransen side and three in-laws Wim, Alda and Betty on the van Dijk side. A
well lived life and her memory is a blessing for our family.
If you would like to remember Joke with a gift please give to her two favorite
charities, St. Jude and Shriners for Children, as she was touched by the incredible
fighting spirits those kids show under difficult challenges.
A beautiful lady inside and out. May she rest in peace in Heaven surrounded by many angels.
Dear Mom,
It is with great sadness that I am writing this letter as that means you are no longer physically with us. The tears will flow as I type this. I can only hope (not really know) that you are no longer in pain and are a free-spirit.
My childhood memories are somewhat vague. The memories I do have are of a great mom that was always there for me no matter how much I may have screwed up.
You loved the outdoors which was evident with you soaking up the sun by the pool, playing tennis with that fierce arm swing, and watching your garden grow on Goodrum.
We were introduced to the Doyle’s family and Leo Po’boys, ground beef and mushroom pizza (the best I ever had), and don’t forget the pecan pie.
When I went through my various weight loss journeys, you were there with nutritious meals (not sure about the brussel sprouts though) which helped me reach my goals. Wish you were here again to help me reach those goals again. When I broke my jaw, you were there with more nutritious meals that had to be blended. Note to self: pork chops don’t blend well.
After I met Mark and left the roost, you were there supporting us. Then, this little kid named Matthew came along. Mark and I were so thankful that he could spend the first 18 months of his life in your impeccable care. It allowed us to also see him reach milestones through your eyes (video camera) that we would not have gotten from daycares.
Over the next 20+ years, you were there for every event Matt was involved in from daycare parties/events, YMCA sports, school field days, taekwondo, band, bowling, etc. Matt was introduced to so many things through you: Holland (poffertjes), hockey (Go Aeros), and so much more. He has grown up to be an amazing adult thanks to you (and the rest of us).
You were there for Mark and I as we moved into a new home and provided your green thumb to get our garden to look good. We don’t have the same green thumb, but we tried.
Over the past few years, you continued to have a beautiful smile even as you struggled. Your courage through those tough times amazed me. I wish I could have only done more to erase the pain.
As we promised, we will look after Dad.
I will end this with a memory that both you and Dad like to remind me of. I was angry and wrote the following note, then slid it under my door:
I Hate You…Love Monique
I hate that you have left us, but will always love you.
Joke van Dijk was one of the strongest, most resilient people I have ever known and I was ever so proud and fortunate to call her Mom (or more often, just Ma).
She faced many hard challenges – coming from another country and another language while leaving virtually everything behind except her husband, Henny, and two small children in Stef and Monique. Then moving again just a few years later halfway across the country to her final home in Houston. Then later in life, having to deal with so many medical issues like her back surgeries that just seemed to make things worse to the other frustratingly unidentifiable medical anomalies for which no one could give her any answers.
But through those times, she learned the language, learned to drive and worked in a small, family-owned Italian restaurant for people who would become dear friends. I even got to briefly work alongside her as it became my first job to work there as well (though my role of cleaning out the vats was a bit less glamorous).
I was no perfect son. Whether it was the fake coughs of disapproval to try and get her to quit smoking (which did work in the end so there’s that) to smashing the tennis racquet I “borrowed” from her in my bad sportsmanship days. From the quizzing I got when I appeared to come home a little less than sober, struggling to hold up the doorway (I think she really enjoyed that one) to of course the fact that I’m a card carrying member of the always argumentative van Dijk clan (that one I know she never liked). And when I decided to go back to North Carolina after college to seek out my own path, I know that was not at all easy for her. But through all those things, she was always unquestioningly loving and supportive.
Being at a distance wasn’t easy. It made it harder for her to see and follow along in the growth of her two “remote” grandsons, Eric and Bryan. Each side would make the occasional trip but it wasn’t quite the same, and of course this was before Facebook if you can even imagine such a time. There was the time Diane and I left the boys with Mom and Dad while we went on a vacation so she had that personal one on one time, and although Eric broke his arm on that trip, we’ll just blame that one on Dad. Just kidding!
While this is more of an IYKYK, there is one thing I would say about my Mom and one thing I would (and did) say to her: she was no “wifey” and most importantly, “welterusten”.
I was so saddened to read your news about your beloved Joke. She always had smiles at our UTHRO meetings and having small talks with her about her beloved Holland always brought smiles to my face in remembering my time living there. She was simply lovely.
Dear Henny and family,
I was so sad to learn that your dear Joke passed away.
I know this is a great loss for you and your family.
Joke was such a lovely lady and I always remember her smile.
Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.
Best
Inga Leon